20 Random Facts about Scabior
by Gul Bricett
Summary: Written for the hp random facts fest on LJ.


Written for the **hp_random_facts, Round Seven** fest on LJ.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> It's all JKR's (and in this case, Warner Bros.', too). I just borrowed their toys for a while.  
><strong>Words:<strong> 1352  
><strong>Canon:<strong> Movie (DH 1 & 2)  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> one-sided Scabior/Hermione

**Author's Note:** Scabior isn't a woobie, he's an amoral creep with an obsession. So this  
>fic is rather dark, therefore <strong>rated M<strong>, but without graphic details.  
>The character's first name is a handwave to the actor Nick Moran, who was so<br>gleefully hamming it up in the movies, he made me like the guy.

**20 Random Facts about Scabior**

**1.** The Scabiors are as old a family as the Malfoys. They've lived for centuries in the  
>same hovel near the coast of Kent, making a living by beachcombing and wrecking.<br>The main difference is that the Malfoys claim to be related to Salazar Slytherin and the  
>Peverells, while the Scabiors can't deny they're related to the Fletchers across the<br>river.

**2.** Gran Scabior still knows how to sing ships onto the Godwin Sands.  
>Her grandson Nicodemus doesn't: it's bloody hard to do, and those softies at the<br>Ministry have come to see it as a breach of the Statute of Secrecy.  
>So what? Those ships do it well enough on their own accord, and "Accio flotsam!"<br>works just fine.  
>You can also get fish and oysters that way, and sell what you don't need for yourself<br>to Wizards and Muggles alike. Those oyster farms are a godsend, as long as you don't  
>get too greedy.<p>

**3.** Nick Scabior speaks a bit of basic Mermish: "Don't hurt me!", "Please, help me!",  
>"Wanna trade?", some cuss words, numbers – things like that.<p>

**4.** The Scabiors are among the very few Wizard families in Britain who don't have an  
>open fireplace. A stove keeps you warm, too, without giving the coppers easy access to<br>your living room.  
>Apparition and the Knight Bus are all you need for travelling; and for business Scabior<br>uses the Floo in the backroom of this one wizard pub in Canterbury. Or the one in  
>Mundungus Fletcher's house.<p>

**5.** Nick's a pureblood, not that he gives a toss: the way he sees it, all those toffs from  
>the posh Old Families talk about "pureblood unity" as long as they need you to do<br>their dirty work for them, and treat you worse than any mudblood when they don't.  
>They can all kiss his arse.<br>Some actually did, and paid good money for it, back when he was a regular in  
>Knockturn Alley as a lad.<br>Easy way to make a galleon.

**6.** The Hat thought Nick was "daring", so he was sorted into Gryffindor.  
>(No, really! It wasn't exactly Advanced Alchemy to figure out where the Slytherin<br>common room was. Besides, the Snatchers were shown pictures of all four Houses  
>before they were sent out.)<br>He followed the advice Gran gave him before he boarded the train - "Keep your eyes  
>and ears open and your head down. Say 'yes, professor', and do your own thing." - to<br>get through school without trouble.  
>As soon as he had the required minimum of OWLs - all As -, he left.<p>

**7.** The best thing about Hogwarts was the Black Lake, where you could have fun  
>bothering the Giant Squid, jabbing with the Merpeople, or spying on the 7th year girls<br>going skinny-dipping.

**8.** McGonagall didn't really like Nick, but she only gave him a bit of grief once, when  
>he'd had to teach that uppity firstie Percy Weasley some manners.<br>Years later, You-know-who's ugly valet (or whatever he was) told him the little twerp  
>had named his pet rat after Nick in revenge. What a clown.<p>

**9.** Nick has done business with Mundungus Fletcher for years: Nick procured the  
>goods, Dung sold them. The one time they swapped places it ended badly: Nick got 9<br>months for hawking those blasted cauldrons of Dung's.  
>It's a bad place, Azkaban.<br>Fortunately, he only had to do eight weeks. After that, the Death Eaters freed their  
>mates and let the rest of them go as well. And Nick was even offered a steady job.<br>He does have the Luck of the Gryffs, obviously.

**10.** Nick taught Fenrir Greyback how to play poker, and won about half of the  
>werewolf's pay. He didn't even have to cheat.<p>

**11.** The rest of his crew didn't really believe the Girl-who-smelt-good had been there,  
>but Nick was always sure she was. Almost every night he wondered if she could see<br>him (she could), and if she was pretty (she was).  
>He used to dream of her, and he liked to imagine how she dreamt of him, too: not only<br>the scary kind of dreams that make you wake up - him carrying her off to the Ministry  
>or some such -, but, at least some of the time, of them … doing more exciting things.<br>(She did.)

**12.** When he found the scarf, he recognized her scent at once.  
>He put a Preserving charm on it and wore it all the time, day and night. It became his<br>Good Luck Charm.

**13.** It wasn't hard to convince the others to check the place once a week – the scarf  
>was a sign, after all.<br>In the end, he got lucky: she was even more beautiful than he'd hoped, and he learned  
>her name.<br>So what if she escaped? That crazy bint Bellatrix would just have wasted her, in more  
>sense than one.<p>

**14.** When the bridge collapsed under them, Nick thought he was done for.  
>But when you've been scrambling over cliffs since you learned to walk, casting a<br>Cushioning charm becomes instinct.  
>And knowing the Merpeople of the Lake finally paid off: they were curious, and either<br>didn't realize which side Nick had been on or didn't care – they helped him to the  
>shore.<br>Long-distance apparition after losing quite a bit of blood was a risk, but he only  
>splinched half a finger.<br>The real miracle was Gran actually opening the door when Nick lay in her cabbage  
>patch, moaning.<p>

**15.** Gran's good with healing spells and home-made potions; it took Nick just two  
>months to recover, hidden in the attic.<br>There isn't much he remembers from the first weeks – mostly how cool his Good Luck  
>Charm felt against his skin, just like Girl-who-smells-good, when she came to him. (Of<br>course he knows she wasn't really there, but she felt so real, alright?)

**16.** The Aurors haven't come looking for Nick yet.  
>He doesn't worry too much: he never took the Mark; he was legally employed by the<br>Ministry; Greyback is dead, as are almost all who were in Nick's crew. Hell, seems he  
>is considered dead, too, by most. And good luck with finding other witnesses.<br>As for Girl-who-smells-good (who turned out to be Famous Hermione Granger), he  
>didn't DO anything to her, did he?<p>

**17.** It's funny: Old Mundungus fought on the winning side, you could even say he  
>played the hero; and all he got out of it was people calling him names. Makes you<br>wonder what Dumbledore had on him.  
>While Nick was with the losers, but came back with a nice stash of galleons (buried in<br>several places), and is left alone.  
>But he's learned an important lesson: whoever asks Nick to<br>do something for the Greater Good is just given the finger from now on, no matter which side they're on.

**18.** He still steers clear of Diagon Alley; so, a few days before Christmas, Nick was  
>mingling with the Muggle crowds in Oxford Street, looking for opportunities.<br>That's when he saw her again.  
>She recognized him, too, but she didn't reach for her wand. She just stopped dead in<br>her tracks, almost dropping some of the parcels she was carrying, and went as white as  
>sea foam.<br>Nick needed a minute to come to his senses, too, before he ducked into the next alley  
>and disapparated.<p>

**19.** But still no Aurors, no "Wanted for questioning" in the "Prophet". Hmm…  
>Nick's sure she asks herself what he would have done with her, had Bellatrix not taken<br>her away from him.  
>Oh, how he'd love to give her a demonstration, all night long. He likes to imagine how<br>he'd become her Dirty Little Secret, how she'd come back for more again and again,  
>even if she hated herself for it… (And yes, Dirty Secrets may become reliable sources<br>of income, but this is not about business at all!)  
>It couldn't be too hard to find out where she lives now…<br>But there's daring, and there's foolishness...  
>Still, Nick's dying to know if she dreams of him THAT way.<p>

**20.** She does.


End file.
